We'll find a Way
by MyMidnightWish
Summary: Amu and Ikuto are not allowed to date. What will happen over the course of their few months left together? What will happen when the school year ends? Was their love one that was meant to be?  based on a real life relationship
1. Chapter 1

**Geri: Yeah, I know…I need to update **_**Rooming with You..**_**but I thought a seasonal oneshot was in order!**

**Amu: haha…yeah Valentine's day in particular**

**Ikuto: She's about recent events *smh***

**Geri: Pft…but it's with a Shugo Chara twist!**

**Amu: This will be written from the feline's point of view…This story made me really sad D:**

**Ikuto: Yeah aren't valentine's day stories suppose to be happy and cheerful?**

**Geri: Not all of them…but it has a happy ending :DDD**

**Amu: yeah..but still.**

I stared at my cell phone screen intensely. On my screen was a simple picture of a beautiful pink haired girl and me. We were smiling happily and had this millimeter of distance between us. I put the phone down and covered my head while closing my eyes. Her smile, her beautiful face, her wonderful voice; they were all I could think about. My heart broke a little more as I realized how slowly I was dying inside.

"Ikuto?"

"What is it?" My voice came off more annoyed than I would have liked.

"Mom just wanted to know if you were ok…" Utau, my little sister said softly.

"Don't worry about me." I answered simply.

"Well, we're your family, of course we'll worry."

"Utau, just go away."

"Alright.." She replied but I did not hear her walk away from the door. "I'm here if you need me."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Finally, there was the quiet tapping of Utau's bare feet hitting the wooden floor outside. She was gone. Again, alone with my thoughts, I replayed the scene over and over in my head again. Every word was still crisp and clear in my ears and the image was still new and hard to grasp. What was she thinking right now? Was she thinking about me? Was she thinking about what happened? Every painful moment of that day was tattooed into me like a scar or a new body part.

_ I weaved through passing students and made my way to Amu's locker. She wore a simple striped long sleeve shirt and I stopped at the corner to admire her outfit. How many times have I done this? Far too many, I decided and went to her. Amu greeted me with her usual vibrant smile. _

_"Good morning." She said and closed her locker with a slam._

_"Aggressive, are we?" I said with a raised eye brow._

_"Here." Amu handed me a muffin wrapped in a Bounty paper towel._

_ "What is this?"_

_"Banana. That much I know." She laughed lightly. "My mom made it."_

_"Well I bet it's delicious."_

_Amu smirked at me and we reached my science classroom._

_"Wait for me." i ordered and slipped inside before she could reply._

_"Hey, Ikuto!" Kukai greeted me while sitting in Mr. Swartz's chair._

_"Hey, Kukai."_

_"What are you in such a hurry for."_

_"Do I have to say it?"_

_"Ah, for Hinamori." He chuckled. "Well, off with you! Passing period doesn't last forever."_

_"Don't remind me." I groaned and was out the door._

_"You kept me waiting." Amu teased._

_"Well, come on. I have to walk you to class, Princess."_

_Her cheeks turned a bright red, "Don't call me that."_

_"Just admit it. You like me calling you that."_

_"Well.." She said nothing more and I knew then that I was right._

_"So are you ok?"_

_"Am I ok?"_

_"After yesterday?"_

_"Oh.."_

_"I miss hugging you." I said with a genuine smile._

_"I miss holding your hand."_

_ I noted the safe distance we kept from each other, we were less than arm's length but not close enough to be an index finger away. Her parents recently heard that we had kissed when her sister was teasing her at home. Amu had gone through a five hour talk with both her parents and they were now threatening to take her out of public school. All because of me, or at least it felt like my fault. We arrived in the cafeteria and still had seven minutes on the clock. Time ticked away as we leaned against one of the long lunch tables nearest the band room. We leaned next to each other and didn't talk for awhile._

_"So, I know what the right thing to do, but I don't want to do it."_

_"And what's that?"_

_"We should break up." I couldn't meet her eyes._

_ I knew she was a good and responsible girl. She was intelligent and trustworthy and everything a parent would want in their child. I knew she would do the right thing even if it meant hurting herself. I knew that she wouldn't tell me no._

_"I don't want you to go behind your parents' backs." I looked down at my feet. "I've been in enough relationships to know how those end up."_

_"Yeah, we shouldn't go behind their backs." She said quietly._

_"So what do you want to do?"_

_ Amu looked so hurt and sad that I wanted to wrap my arms around her. But I knew that I couldn't. Too many teachers knew her parents and I wouldn't even risk Amu's happiness for a quick hug. _

_"I don't know." I hated the hurt and broken tone in her voice._

_ We talked some more about things that didn't matter and the five minute warning bell rang._

_"So, are we done?"_

_"Not done." She said seriously. "Just friends."_

_I chuckled, trying to mask my pain, "Man, do I hate hearing you say that!"_

_Amu looked at me with sad eyes and I told her I had to get to class._

_"Ikuto.."_

_I looked back at her and I could tell she was trying to figure out what to say._

_"Bye, Amu." I said with a smirk._

_She wasn't going to fight for me._

We've been ok for the last two days that we've seen each other. Maybe it was better this way, I knew this was best for her. Amu and I still talked whenever we could and still told the other how much we loved them. It was far too cruel to go on like this and I was trying to figure out a way to end this suffering for both of us. But the thing was, there is no way out. This love would either end with two broken hearts or a Romeo and Juliet type of plot.

There was a tapping on my balcony window and I was surprised to see that Amu was my visitor. My heart beat quickened at the sight of Amu's face. She wore a luna colored beanie and a warm black jacket. I unlocked the sliding glass door and ushered her inside,

"What are you doing here?" I asked, her cheeks were rosy from the February cold.

"You usually sneak out to see me at my balcony window."

"That's different!" I argued.

"So you're not happy to see me?" She pouted.

"Of course I'm happy to see you!" I shook my head and paced the room as she sat on my bed.

"Then what's wrong?"

"What if your parents notice that you're gone! You'll definitely be taken out of school!"

` "Is that all you're worried about?"

"Aren't you?"

"No."

"Amu, you're not being sensible."

"Don't treat me like a child."

"That pout of yours is that of a child."

"Whatever, I just wanted to do this." And she sprang forward toward me and wrapped her littlee arms around my body.

I hugged back immediately and relished the feeling of her touch again. I didn't want to let her go, not ever again. She wrestled out of my grasp and interlaced her hand with mine. A peaceful smile played on her perfect lips. How I wish I could kiss her right now. Our last kiss was a lifetime ago.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, Princess."

She smiled and sat up against the head board of my bed and patted the seat beside her.

"What?"

"Sit with me."

"You should head home, I'll walk you there."

"Not yet." Her alluring honey colored eyes stared desperately into mine. "Please?"

"Just for a little bit." I said solidly, sitting beside her.

We interlaced hands once more and her head rested on my shoulder. My left arm was draped around her shoulders while my right clasped her hand.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, her defenses were falling.

"I'm not sure."

"I don't want to lose you, Ikuto."

"You won't." I reassured her. "I promise you that."

"This won't work, will it?" Her voice was that of a mouse.

"We'll find a way to make it work."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Well, do you have a condom on you?"

She gasped and punched my chest, "_IKUTO!"_

` "I'm joking!" i laughed. "Jeez."

"That wasn't funny."

"Sure it wasn't."

"Just go to sleep."

"Already am."

"Het, Ikuto?"

"Hm?" My thumb stroked her fingers lightly.

"It's Valentine's day."

I peered a the clock on my desk and saw that it was midnight.

"I believe that you are correct," I smirked.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Amu."

In a matter of hours we fell asleep and I knew that no night could top this one. Though we could not touch later that day, I still felt the warmth of her body in my arms. She smiled at me from across the gym and I knew that neither of us would give up. We would find a way.

**Geri: Good ending?**

**Amu: that was a rough break up, Geri.**

**Ikuto: think about how much that actually hurt, Baka.**

**Amu: I'm sorry Geri D:**

**Geri: Not your fault…I mightt continue this based on commentary c**


	2. Chapter 2

**Geri: Gosh so much has happened since the first chapter was uploaded so I promise this story will be moving along a lot faster. but in small segments that mirror what really happened. I hope thats ok..(: So Ikuto is my boyfriend and I am Amu. But I am telling this from Ikuto/Jordan's point of view. I hope that makes sense. This story will start becoming snippets of scenes where Amu and Ikuto develop their relationship. I'm sorry I can't stretch out some moments, but I don't remember all the details. The story is based on what I recorded in my journal, so please forgive me D:**

It's been three months since Valentine's day. Three months since that break up. Three months since the last time I held Amu. Maybe it was my hormones talking, but I missed having her body close to mine. Sure, we stood next to each other every morning and bumped arms on purpose in the hallway, but it didn't feel the same. It didn't sate the hunger I felt for her and not the perverted hunger, thanks. I changed my wallpaper because I couldn't stare at that picture anymore. I wanted to ask her if we could take a new one, but she seemed much happier now.

She seemed to have accepted our situation. Amu made sure to let me know that she held the cross I made her before spring break started in her pocket everyday. It made me happy to know it was with her. I didn't want to ruin that smile of hers. I didn't want to remind her of all the bad things that were still between us.

But still. I was still haunted with the thought of no longer walking these school hallways with her at my side. I couldn't face the fact that she won't always be there. I couldn't stay still knowing I could lose her at any moment. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to hug her. More than anything I wanted to kiss her. We've been alone in the hallway of her locker a few times lately. No teachers were around or students and I tried to see if she thought the same things I did. But I was sadly mistaken. She didn't seem to notice. I didn't force her to do anything, of course. I want to wait for her to notice.

I pulled on a burgundy long sleeve with navy blue lines that traced my arm and a pair of light blue jeans that weren't too skinny and not too loose. I tied on my pair of black gym shoes and grabbed my backpack. In minutes, I was out the door. The bus arrived five minutes later and I took note of how Utau still did not say a word to me. I really love my sister because of that, she knows when to back off. Even if she has that ridiculous brother complex. No one sits with me, so the ride was pretty peaceful and my heart immediately sped up when the bus pulled to a stop and I spotted Amu. She wore a pair of pink pastel caprees and a white short sleeve shirt with black ribbon tied around her neck. Her black converse were decorated with words from songs she loved.

I still haven't allowed myself to touch her. It killed me inside not to. Especially when she was so close. For a split second, I lost my resolve and crept up behind her in my quiet feline way. Yaya and Kukai saw me but said nothing. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and rested my head on her left shoulder. She giggled, held my arms in place, and looked toward me. Amu's laugh was medicine to my hunger. I let go once I gained my senses and stood next to her content with what had just happened. We stood side but side smiling away all our worries. I wanted to say something to her, but didn't know what exactly to say. Being the way we are made everything we did feel different. It felt like the delicious feeling you get when you eat something that so's good, but it wasn't meant for you. That feeling you have before you feel guilty. Of course I feel guilty though.

"You guys are so lovey dovey in the morning!" Yaya complained, pretending to puke.

"Yeah, get a room!" Kukai chimed in.

"You shouldn't even be touching her in the first place." Tadase grumbled.

"Oh quiet." I groaned.

"You guys ready to go to the high school?" Nagihiko asked.

"I heard that their presentation has crappy video tape quality." Kukai complained.

"Oh, joy." I said sarcastically.

"Ikuto!" Amu jabbed me with her shoulder.

The presentation itself was pretty disappointing, but whatever. I got to sit at the very top of the auditorium. When we got back to school, everyone was grumbling about having to go back to class. The rest of the day rolled by quickly and before I knew it, tenth period was over. Amu and I walked back to my locker. Like usual, she waited for me to open it and took out whatever she needed. Amu was unusually quiet and I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face.

"What?"

"Lower." She ordered.

I crouched a bit and waited. No one was in the hallway with us and Amu inspected my face. Was something on it? But then, I felt her lips against my cheek. I could feel a light and unnoticeable blush appear on my face.

"Very funny."

"Like you didn't see that coming." She smiled at me in the beautiful way I love so much.

"I seriously didn't."

"Uh huh."

I put my arm around her and walked down the sixth grade hallway with her. Mr. Englemen was in our way of door 22 and we waited for him to pass.

"Amu?"

She seemed lost in her own thoughts as we entered the small hallway leading to the double doors.

"Amuuu?"

She finally stopped thinking.

"Amu, look up."

"What?"

I bent over a little bit and kissed her. There was a crowd of sixth graders in front of us and I could feel some of their eyes watching us.

"Well, that was an awkward kiss." I said, my arm was still around her this whole time.

"Just a bit."

We were both blushing profusely. Finally, we walked over to her bus and said our good byes.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you, too."

It was nice to think we could forget our boundaries for one whole day.

_(A snippet of what happened two days later, the 19th of April)_

Amu was in a very good mood as we walked to my locker after tenth period. This time of the day was the only time we could fully forget about the boundaries we had. There was no one around. No one we had to watch or be careful around. No stupid Mrs. Edwards watching our every move, or Dr. Wood waltzing around. I stopped stuffing my backpack and looked at Amu. She looked back at me with her usual easy going smile on her face, but there was a hint of confusion in it. Probably because I was staring at her for so long.

"What?" I love her.

_Forgive me, Amu. I'm so sorry if I get you in trouble. I just…I _need_ to do this right now._

I held my backpack in one hand, still crouched over a bit, put my hand around the back of neck, and pulled her face to mine. I pressed my lips against hers and closed my eyes for a few seconds. If we didn't need to get on the bus, maybe I would do more. But we have to go. I let her lips go and tried to stay composed. Amu looked completely stunned, how cute.

"Shut up!" Amu says, not looking at me.

I turn and see her friend Rima walking by with her boyfriend, Nagihiko. I put my arm around her and we start to walk down the hallway. Her face was still blushing pink, it's one of my favorite faces. She looks up at me and has a hint of confusion on her face once again.

"I love you." Is all I can say.

_(April 24)_

It's funny. The guy is the one who is suppose to walk the girlfriend to class, right? Well that's not the case with Amu and me. She walks me to class. You see, my locker is a few steps away from her classroom and we had a huge discussion about the matter of her walking me to band, which was a two minute walk depending on student traffic. I always worry that she'll be late to class one day. I feel myself smile, it's like the break up never happened. We're back to normal in a lot of ways. But I believe we still feel a wall there. In the middle of our walk, I remembered something.

"I found this saying that totally applies to me."

She noticed how proudly I'm smiling, "Which is?"

We're out of the hallways and almost in the cafeteria where the band room is located next to.

"It said that 'All the nerdy guys get the cute girls', and I am one of the nerdiest guys here and I've got the cutest girl in the world." [ok we all know Ikuto is anything but nerdy, but just for the sake of the fanfic just go with it XD]

Amu almost blushed instantaneously and pushed me towards the room.

"Don't be late to class." I say sweetly.

"Uh huh." She refused to look at me and walks away as fast as her little legs can carry her.

_(April 25) _

I was psyched about today! I chose one of my better shirts and my less baggy jeans. I ate breakfast in a hurry and waited impatiently for the bus to come. Kukai noticed all this and asked me why I was so giddy.

"I can't wait to spend a whole day _alone_ with _Amu._" Just saying that made me happier.

Today was the writer's conference field trip and only a bus load of students was going. There was only going to be a few teachers accompanying us and we wouldn't come back until tenth period. The smile on my face would not go away. I knew how much Amu loved to write and how good she was, so it was no wonder she was invited to go.

When I saw her later in the morning coming toward the rest of our friends, I could tell she had the same thoughts on her mind.

"You're sitting with me on the bus if we get to choose."

"I get to be with you for one whole day, why wouldn't I?"

"You've done it before!" She gave me a coy look.

"Good point."

The school gave us free breakfast and we were put onto the buses based on our last names. Thankfully we got to choose where we sat. Amu had the window seat and three f our friends sat in the diagonal seats across from us. Those friends were Rima, Yaya, and Utau. Rima and Utau sat together while Yaya sat in the seat in front of them alone. When sitting, Amu and I were pretty level considering I was all leg and little torso. I held her hand immediately after attendance was called and we nudged each other through the whole ride there. Why did it have to end so soon?

The writer's conference was held at a golf country club and the whole place was expensive looking. The ball room there was extravagant. Amu and I ended up in different writer's groups which was a major bummer, but we met up again during lunch. We joked around and I threw out her stuff for her. But we somehow got into a competition one who could do more for the other. Somehow she won that competition by being way too clever. After lunch, Amu, along with a few other students, was awarded with some Regional writing awards and we were all dismissed to our next station. Amu looked very uneasy when she saw some of old female friends from my other middle school. I wonder why that would be?

The whole conference took forever in my opinion, but Amu looked really happy through the whole thing. She looked like she had a lot of fun. On the bus ride, we did everything we did before and then some. I put my arms around her twice and both times lured her face close to mine. I waited for her to make the move both times, but she only made the move once and kissed me. The second time she just hugged me; Yaya caught this on camera. Somehow, through it all, I got marker on my face from Utau. But that ended up being a good thing because I got Amu to wipe it off for me which meant we were up close and personal all over again.

We went straight to gym and was just in time for the sit and reach test plus trunk lift. All in all today was amazing. She asked for a kiss right after class, too. A little happiness is a very good thing now that the school year is ending so soon….

_(May 8)_

_-the weekend before the 8th-_

Tadase, Kukai, and I all shared a hotel room. We were on a school band trip and we just got back from the zoo. Both of them were texting Amu and it was driving me insane. I wanted to be the one to text her! Oddly enough, both of them showed me every single text she sent them whether they were about me or not. I smiled so much when I read she thought I was sexy in my sunglasses or flannel shirts. But most of all my red long sleeve shirt. The way she talked so openly with those two made me jealous.

"She said I could read the note." Kukai said and held out his hand to me.

"No way. This note is only for me." I said stubbornly and laid in bed.

"Come on, she said I could!"

"Well, I say no."

The note Amu wrote me was four pages long. It was the best thing I've ever read. It was corny and sad. It meant the world to me. I could tell she took a lot of time into writing it and it broke my heart to read some of her pain. But I could feel her love. Her words showed how much she loved me. Ugh. I sound so corny. The next day we walked around six flags when I saw something Amu would like…

-current date-

I came into school late. It was pouring outside and I looked around for Amu. It took me forever to find my strawberry, but as soon as she saw me coming to her she was out of her seat.

"Ikuto!" She ran to me and jumped onto me.

i hugged back and felt her slip a little bit. The bell rang a minute later and I decided to tease Amu.

"So I look sexy in flannel shirts and long sleeves, huh?"

Amu's face turned instantly red. "W-Who told you that?"

"They showed me everything.." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm going to kill them!" Amu roared.

"No, don't."

"Hmph." She puffed out her cheeks.

"You're so cute."

"Shut up."

_(May 25, 2012)_

I was half asleep as I sat down on the bricks that lined the three of the eighth grade section. Why did I stay up so long last night playing pokemon? Why? For Amu of course. She was the whole reason I picked up the game in the first place. Amu…nun…

"Morning!" Amu greeted me as she sat down beside me.

"Morning."

"Were you laying pokemon again?"

"Yeah."

"You should sleep."

"No.."

"Sleep."

"Amu.." I looked at her.

"Go to sleep." She was leaning against me. "Please."

"No. I'm with you, why would I sleep?" I only have six days left with you.

"So? You need sleep."

"I've been tired all week.."

"So? You'll develop bad habits." SHe forced my head down into my knees. "Go to sleep."

"Nooo.."

"Please?"

It was time to go in.

"You have to promise me you sleep at sometime."

"I can't there's finals and.."

"Promise me!" She held out her pinky near my hand.

"No.."

"Ikuto.."

"Fine..I'll try to during sixth period."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I wrapped my pinky around hers.

**I'm going to end the chapter her since the next two segments are the last two days of school. The ending so to say. Or at least towards the end (: How do you think the relationship is developing? They're in their honeymoon segment...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Geri: Ok I'm going to clarify why Ikuto and Amu have six days left in the first snippet of memories. And thanks so much for reading this story (: Also, i edited the last chapter just a smidge so the confusion of Utau should be gone now -.-'' I had a retard moment there, sorry. Anywho, since Summer just started, I will have tons more time to update (: However I will be gone the last week of june and some weekend in July XD**

**Also, I know this may sound confusing, but Ikuto and Amu are a mix of my Boyfriend and I. Some of the things Ikuto thinks and does is what I actually did and thought, but the characters would only make sense if Amu was the one who was restricted about doing things like Facebook etc. So the same goes for Amu. **

_(That Friday or someday before the last few days of school)_

"Amu?" I looked at her serious far and knew she was thinking about _it_ again.

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

She put on her best fake smile, which was pretty believable if you ask me, and turned more towards me, "Nothing!"

"Amu."

"I swear, it's nothing."

"But you made that face again.."

"It's nothing new. "

"So you were thinking about.."

"Yeah."

"Amu, I'll find a way to talk to you over the summer. Even if we can't text.."

"I'll use Rima's phone when I can!" Amu added.

"Then, we have a way. There's still Facebook and email.."

"But I'm barely on.."

"Amu, we'll find a way to talk."

"But.."

"Plus, we could hang out. There's still graduation parties and just those random days."

She nodded, but wouldn't meet my eyes. It hurt me so much to see her so sad.

"Amu, I promise we'll talk over the summer." I made her look me in the eye. "I promise."

She held out her pinky to mine, "Promise."

I smiled and kissed her. Six more days, six more days until we have to say goodbye. We parted ways and got onto our buses. Kukai was busy chatting with the kid across from us and I could hear Utau in the seat in front of us. My thoughts went back to the four page note Amu wrote me. That last paragraph cut through my heart like a knife.

_I don' t know why I wrote this really, but if there had to be a reason, it would be closure._

I closed my eyes and recited those last lines all over again.

_I never got it, but if anything happens I want you to have it. If I move or if one of us loses feelings for the other, I want us both to move on as painlessly as possible. _

It was insane to even think Amu thought I would stop loving her.

_It's ok if you start liking someone else or if you fall in love with another. Do what makes you happy. I love you, Ikuto. I think that's all I wanted to say. ~Amu_

_ P.S. Why don't we switch necklaces? (: That way we have a reason to find each other next year._

You idiot. Now we would have to face one more weekend and then it's the home stretch. I forgot we're off Monday. Wonderful. More time without her.

_(Tuesday, the day after that long weekend)_

I walked off the bus in the outfit Kukai told to wear. I was wearing a button down black shirt and straight jeans.

_"Hey, Ikuto!"_

_ "Hey."_

_ "Your girlfriend made a request."_

_ "What?"_

_ He showed me the text Amu sent him and I instantly broke into a smile._

_ "I think I can make that happen."_

Amu came minutes later and we were close as can be already. I could tell her mind was al over the place. Everyone was going on about how it was the last day of school. We had a journal quiz in science, but the rest of the day went by so fast.

By tenth period, Amu looked better than she did this morning. But at the same time a little sad. We walked together to gym and sat in the bleachers. Only two classes stayed in the bleachers and we got our year books. Amu and I sat at the top with our group and I became keenly aware of how a teacher was watching the two of us. Amu was aware too. It pissed me off. The final period I could spend solely with her is wasted because we're being watched. Fuck my life. We hid our hands and somehow got to hold onto each other for a moment. I made Amu blush multiple times and had a few uncomfortable encounters with Kukai.

"So when am I going to get the stuff you wrote me?" She asked. "The song and the limerick?"

"Tomorrow. I'm going to work on it before the board meeting."

"I can't wait to read it." The excitement was obvious in her eyes.

"It's going to be incredibly sappy."

"That makes to even better.

(…..)

I sat at my desk and stared at the blank piece of paper before me. The limerick was just plain stupid, but it was pretty funny. However, the song was partially done. The first verse was done and I was trying to figure out how the rest of the song should go. I could feel my face turn slightly red as I read over the first verse.

There was a knock at my door and I quickly hid the papers.

"Yeah?" I called out.

"Dad said he's going to bring you over to that place now."

"Ok."

Guess I'll have to finish it later…

_(The note was written by myself and my boyfriend wrote the song)_

DONE! Finally. I straightened out the papers and read over the verses.

_This is gonna sound sappy_

_But I have to say_

_I've liked you _

_Since the very first day_

_I didn't know what it was_

_till I saw your face_

_-Chorus-_

_It's you_

_Whose face is always bright_

_It's you_

_Who always looks just right_

_It's you who makes me uncomfortable in every good way that's possible_

_It's you..It's you_

_I was with you,_

_Like I am most everyday,_

_I got this feeling _

_That I should say_

_Be with me_

_Walk with me_

_Stay with me_

_Talk with me_

_Will you be my girl?_

_-bridge-_

_And even when it seems_

_As if our lives have reached the end_

_You've always been with me_

_Around every corner and bend _

_You're always there_

_You've always cared_

_And I'll always be there for you_

_-chorus-_

_-tag-_

_Be with me_

_Walk with me_

_Stay with me_

_Talk with me_

_I love you_

This song…it was so lame. I hit my head against the desk. How uncool can I be? Amu must be thinking about so many things right now. Her grandparents died on the seventeenth and the twenty-eighth. I still couldn't get her tear stricken face out of my mind.

_(May 30, 2012)_

Amu was dropped off by her parents to school and we were together again almost instantly. She looked so cute in her orange shorts and black semi-see through shirt. Of course she had a tank top under though and her new converse. Amu was wearing a black backpack and her hair was tied up in the usual way she ties it. I gave her the book I bought her and the writing stuff. She immediately put it in her

"I'll read it later." The smile on her face was priceless.

I put my arm around her and she looked around. Her face paled and she whispered to me.

"My parents are watching."

I detached my arm away from her and smiled at her.

"You could've told me that earlier."

"I don't think they saw."

Kukai and Nagihiko started to wave at her parents like idiots.

"Next time, be more aware." I groaned.

"I'm sorry, I thought they left!"

It was time to go in and all the eighth graders were assembling into the cafeteria. Amu wasn't though. She wouldn't be going to six flags with all of them. It pissed me off that guys would be checking out Amu while I'm not around. We walked over to my locker and Amu threw her backpack in there. Amu would be staying in my language Arts teacher's room. There was a bunch of kids in the desks already and Amu scribbled her number into my notebook. After that I had to run out of her classroom.

(A/N: I don't know what he did while my friends and I were at six flags so we're time skipping to this one part of the day..)

I walked around the amusement park and was heading towards the Superman again. I was going to meet up with this girl I met earlier. We rode superman together with Kukai and her friend at the very beginning of the trip. She was quitter a flirt and Kukai suggested we walk with her. Our group pretty much ditched us and Kukai refused to ride anything else. I won the oshawatt Amu had tried to win in St. Louis. She will be so jealous when she finds out.

**(italics is Amu and Ikuto is regular)**

_Hey Ikuto(:_

Who is this?

_ A_

Amu?

_Yeah :D_

Who's phone are you using?

_The phone you must NEVER EVER text under any circumstances. _

What? ( My thoughts: She's using her emergency phone! She'll get in so much trouble..)

_Yeah, so how are you (:?_

I'm doing good. Don't get in trouble!

_I won't I'm under the covers and my dad is downstairs. It'll be fine._

Ok…how are you?

_Amazing. I miss you /:_

I miss you too.

_So..?_

Guess what?

_What?_

I won that oshawatt you wanted!

_WHAT D:_

Yeah XD it took me a few hours tho…

_Lucky )X Can I call you?_

Yeah..!

A phone call came seconds later and I could feel my mood become even happier.

"Hey?"

"Hello."

"Amu.."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"…sh…"

"Hello?"

"Sorry, my sister came in."

"Oh, don't get in trouble."

"…shi.."

I tried to cover my ears, "What? I can't understand.."

"What?"

"I'll just text you ok?"

"Ok.."

The texting after that didn't last very long because she had to go. She couldn't text very much because her phone was a dinosaur and hard to work with. But I was really happy that I could talk to her. Suddenly, I felt even guiltier for meeting up with this girl. I knew she was flirting with me and I had told Kukai I wasn't really into it. But whatever. If it goes too far, I'll tell her off…

_(May 31, 2012)_

Graduation today! We only have a half day at school and it should blow by pretty quickly. It was raining this morning, what lovely weather for a graduation. We were all ushered inside and I tried to tell Amu about the girl from yesterday who was still texting me. Kukai finally pressured it out of me and Amu's reaction was amazing.

"If I was there, I would have shot her." She was pissed.

We all chuckled.

"I'm just overprotective and get annoyed easily when it comes to the people I love." Her face turned pink and she tired to hid her face behind a yearbook.

I hugged her, she was being too gosh darn adorable. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The practice was long and tiring as they called everyone up by name and shook hands with three teachers. Amu and I were five rows away from each other. After that, we met outside and we said our good byes. Later that night, I came into the school with my graduation gown on. It was black and stopped just above my ankles. It looked quite ridiculous on me, but I wore all black. A black button up flannel shirt and a silk silver tie around my neck. Then black slacks and nice black shoes. I didn't even attempt to mess with my hair and it took me forever to find Amu. She looked stunning in her hollister navy blue street dress. It had a soft smocked top, cool floral embroidery with eyelet details, scalloped trims, and a soft navy blue ribbon belt around the waist. I had to say, she looked pretty good tonight. Sexy, but i wouldn't say that to her. I know how much she hates to blush. Amu went away to dance the cupid shuffle with Rima and I just stayed back and talked to the guys. I hated dancing, I suck at it. Somehow, AMu got me on the dance floor and we went to get some juice. We finished the drink at the same time and I could tell she wanted to dance with me.

"No."

"Pleease?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't dance!"

"Neither do I!"

"Amu.."

"Please?"

"No."

We watched everyone else dance. Utau took my hands in hers and got me to dance a little bit. Then Amu took my hands and we started to dance. It felt weird, but in a good way. I liked the way she smiled. Amu was really enjoying this. "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri came on. Amu looked at me imploring.

Kukai was dancing with my little sister already and I put my hands on her waist and we started to sway side to side. She had an awkward time putting her hands somewhere due to our height difference. She was looking all over the place and her face seemed embarrassed.

"You're worse than me." I told her.

"What?"

"You keep looking all over the place."

"Oh..well.." Her face reddened.

The song ended and we walked back to our group of friends. It didn't take us long for AMu to start taking pictures. She looked at Tadase sadly and I could tell she wanted to tell him something. Then the DJ announced that it was Lady's choice dance. Amu looked at me and she had a mischievous look on her face.

"Hey, Rima? Do you want to dance? I know _he_ doesn't." She said it loudly enough for Tadase, Kukai, and Nagihiko to hear.

"Sure, why not?" Rima said back with a smirk.

"WAIT! Kukai yelled.

"No way!" Nagihiko said and they pulled and pushed me along toward Amu.

We were back on the dance floor and she was smiling up at me.

"Sorry, this was the only way to get you back on the dance floor."

I think she knew full well I would've said yes if she asked me. The song that was playing was "I won't Give Up" by Jason Maraz. But I could barely hear the song. My ears were going deaf.

"Why is there so much space between us?" She asked me.

I blushed and pulled her closer. Her head rested against my chest and it was the best feeling in the world. I wouldn't want to let it go for the world. She looked so sad though. I knew why, after tonight we wouldn't walk together for a long time. We wouldn't see each other between passing period and we wouldn't end our day together. I won't kiss her in the afternoons anymore. Our whole year was flashing by in my mind. I held onto her tighter. I'm going to miss her so much. I would only see her during graduation parties. Kukai came over to us and was pretending cry and raving about how we've grown up so much. We danced around in a small circle and bumped into a couple or two. Her smile was worth a million bucks.

"This song is so appropriate for us."

"What?"

"This song is for us."

"What do you mean."

She went on her tip toes, "He's saying 'I won't give up on us'."

"Yeah, that is us." I smiled more.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Now, let's speed things up!" The DJ crowed and put on a samba number.

Amu held my hands like the first time and started to turned our hands in a cycle going back and forth between us. We were laughing and having a good time and I got to twirl her a few times. After that, there was a conga line and the last song of the night was "We are Young". Once that was over, Rima and Utau broke down into tears over the fact that we won't see some people next year. Amu looked like she wanted to cry to, but we hugged and kissed twice.

"Don't cry.."

"I won't cry here."

"Not here.." I said sarcastically.

"I love you." She says, hugging me again.

"I love you, too, Amu." I say, hugging back.

I walk her to the door and let her Mom take her. We see each other again outside and we say one more good bye. I watch her walk away with her mother. My heart is drumming in my ears as I step into the limo that Utau rented for the night. I want to run after her. I want to kiss her just one more time. Why'd the night end so soon?

**So I don't know when the next update will be XD i promise to try and get some development happening so I can update soon! Please stay strong my lovelies 3 (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Geri: Ugh. I know I keep confusing people. I'm horrible. I 'm sorry. For 70% of the story Ikuto's thoughts have been my own thoughts except when it came to how he saw Amu. That i improvised on. But the stuff he did at the lockers was my boyfriend. But I bet you guys don't even care XD i am writing this story for myself in the first place…*sigh* Well I'm two weeks into loneliness so this chapter is the product of that. This is completely my view point.**

I sat in my room and stared at my computer screen. Facebook was practically dead now and all the other sites I liked weren't amusing me. My summer has been reduced to checking out manga and anime on DVD. I just tried to make the time pass by faster. I knew Amu would be out on some family trip soon and I tried not to imagine all the guys that would be checking her out in a bathing suit. That was almost impossible of course. Nothing changed. I still tortured myself. My parents gave me a new iTouch while my sister gave me a DVD of my favorite band on tour. My lock screen was a picture of Amu and I together during graduation and my wallpaper was the two of us dancing together. Her smile was a mile wide in both. I squeezed my eyes shut. Nothing could hurt more than to imagine her happy without me. How pathetic does that sound? Have I really come to the point where I can't function without her? No. No, that's not true. I could still smile and laugh. I could still enjoy myself without her. But the smiles didn't last as long. It didn't feel as complete.

The bracelet that Amu gave me for the summer sat on my desk, taunting me. I didn't wear it much because I felt like I would lose or break it. I'd gone to two parties in the last weekend. At one party I was the only guy there and I knew all the girls who didn't know me were staring at me endlessly. But I got to hang out with Rima, somehow she became my best friend through Amu, and we all played soccer together. She teased me about Amu and tried not to make me too sad. The party after I had a lot of fun messing around with all my friends, but it felt awkward that I had seen my first love, Motoko. She had her hair cut and was smiling as freely as ever. I felt awkward, but at the same time, I wanted to approach her. First loves never die. I wonder if Amu thinks that way about me. I am her first love. Motoko had a loving boyfriend now though they were on and off, but you could see how happy she was. You could see the love in her eyes. I wasn't jealous or bitter, but it felt so odd. It felt odd not being in her world anymore. It felt awkward to find out about her through Facebook or her friends. I sighed, at least she talked to me.

This Saturday, I would see Amu. My heart wasn't beating with excitement or jittering in anxiety. Honestly, I felt indifferent. Was I losing my feelings for her? No. That couldn't be. Why would I think about her constantly if I stopped caring? Then, why wasn't I happy? Time felt frozen to me. I just kept walking forward, but where was "forward"? She would be home tomorrow and I'm sure Rima will talk to her in the next two days. Will Amu be excited to see me? Will it be awkward she we see each other again? I longed for these tormenting emotions to stop. i wanted to know if my heart gave up! I wanted to know if I really loved Amu the way I thought I did. It was driving me insane the way this doubt clouded everything. Why wasn't I confident anymore? Why did I have to question myself? Why did I question Amu? She looked so happy…so happy…

I woke up dizzy the next morning. I've been dizzy in the morning for the past two days. My parents were out and Utau was out on a date with Kukai. Their love was still burning strongly. How pitiful was I? Ever since the summer started, Amu and I have been sending each other emails. But they're short and not very meaningful. I always wonder if she's being watched by her parents even in her if she's not, is that really all she can write? Hello, how are you? I hid under the covers and deeper into my doubt. Maybe the end was really at that dance. Maybe that was her good bye. Maybe she really meant to say good bye in that letter. She just refused to say it directly. Maybe…maybe…maybe I'm just being an idiot.

My body shivered. I'm such a pitiful person when I'm alone with my thoughts. How could I be the person to make Amu happy? I wanted to protect her smile. I wanted to be the person she could lean on when she's scared or needs to fall down. But how can I be that person? She's the first person I've loved where I've tried not to be selfish. Where I put her first. I didn't even do that with Motoko despite how deeply I felt for her. Amu changed something in me that will never change back. I know that's a drastic thing to say, but that's what it feels like. She made the numbness go away. She woke my heart up again. I want to make her smile the way she made me smile on those gray days. I want to help her find the light in her darkest hours. I just want to be there. But is this how I truly feel? Am I really in love with her or am I in love with the idea of the comfort she provided me? Am I only in this struggle because it's making me forget? I guess I'll find out a little more on Saturday.

That Friday, I got a text from Rima and heard she and Amu were stopping by an anime product store to pick out my gifts. I felt excited and giddy from the chance to talk to her again. One more day, Amu, one more day. Just then, my phone buzzed, there was an incoming message from Rima:

_So Amu is being so adorable right now. She can't stop talking about you. _

_ Here she is, she wants to talk to her._

_ Hey Ikuto!_

My heart was racing again, I didn't know what to say. After awhile, I felt like she sounded annoyed with me.

_I am about to go insane. I haven't seen you in 2 weeks and i may not be able to see you tomorrow._

What? I stared blankly at the screen, letting her words sink in. What? She might not come tomorrow? I felt my heart sink to my stomach. Immediately I got upset and freaked out, but when I texted her back she thought I was actually pissed. I didn't know how to explain it to her, but it was too late now. Amu had to go. I sunk lower into the covers and tried to make all the bad thoughts go away.

The next day, I wore a simple, but casual outfit. A light blue Hollister shirt that had laguna written across the chest and pale colored khakis. Amu and company came a little after three and everyone was talking idly. Amu and I stayed a good distance from each other, but I could see her glancing at me and that made my heart feel so much lighter. Once my mom kicked us out of the kitchen as my cousins arrived,we all filed into the basement where we could all hang out. My older cousin Lulu came and asked me which one was my girlfriend. The ice was broken and Amu finally came up to me. She nudged my arm playfully and noticed my little cousins watching us.

"Would they tell on us?"

"Yeah." I replied sullenly.

She smiled anyway and assured me that it was ok. She played chess with my favorite cousin, Justin, and the party moved along smoothly. She elbowed me in the ribs once or twice and followed me around like a puppy dog. My dad took a few pictures of all of us and it was close too because he came down right after we separated from our hug. Amu smiled more, knowing exactly what I was thinking. It was weird, we didn't talk about how much we missed each other or anything. But I guess if you studied our gestures, you could see that we wanted to stay side by side. I had to walk around the whole basement talking a little with each guest and going back and forth between the ground floor and the basement as more family was coming in.

At some point as I was taking pictures with instagram on my iPod with everyone, Amu saw my passcode and gasped in surprise.

"OH!"

"What?"

"I get it now." Amu's triumphant smile was so cute.

"Get what?"

"In less than two minutes this time too!" She pumped her fist up in the air in victory.

"Amu?"

"Your passcode?"

"IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO REALIZE WHAT THAT WAS?" I burst out chuckling.

"Well…"

"That code is my email signature and text signature."

"Text signature?"

"Never mind."

Her face reddened.

"You're unbelievable." I said with a laugh.

My touch passcode was the date that we started going out. The month and day. Now that I think about it, how long have we been going out? November, December, January, February (I still consider us together since we still stayed side by side), March, April, May, and now June. We've been together through thick and thin for a whole seven months. Wow. Seven months already? Time is flying by way too fast.

Later, I opened up presents and saw that Amu had bought me a necklace with a key blade pendant from the kingdom hearts series. I loved it, but Rima got me a stuffed animal that resembled the animal I thought she was. It was so touching that she made the gift so sentimental.

"I have to leave at six."

"What?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. My dad was all like it's either six or earlier."

"Oh.."

"I still have an hour."

"Yeah," I replied and tried to smile more at her.

Seeing my slight sadness, she nudged my arm more and earned a true smile.

Even if this was all we could do for now, I was happy. But six o'clock came by all too quickly. I had to throw something out and Amu followed in suit.

"I can't believe you're going so soon.."

"I know.."

"Mm…"

_ "_Your cousin isn't looking." Amu's smile got brighter and we hugged each other and kissed each other on the cheek.

I walked her to the door and my dad insisted on four more photos and my mother watched her walk outside. That was when I remembered that we didn't say , "I love you," through out the whole party. I kinda looked forward to saying those words and it made me mad that I didn't get to say them. The party went on without a problem and my cousin and friend from a different school kept telling me how cute AMu was. How much of a keeper she was.

"I know, I'm lucky." I told them.

I wore the necklace she gave all day along with her bracelet. My parents immediately took note of this and profusely commented on it. After lots of explaining and merciless teasing, they gave it a rest. I laid in bed at eleven thirty thinking over about my day. I regretted forgetting about those three little words. I know she knows and she knows I know, but….I don't know how to explain this feeling. It was so mixed and messed up. But again, I was happy. I saw her today. I saw her smile and laugh and caught her doing such cute little things. How many times did she steal my iPod and look through my pictures? How many times did we fight over my iPod when she wanted to delete a cute picture of herself?

I fell asleep smiling at the memories…


End file.
